nelcu | (no subject)

[ Neku wouldn't say it out loud even held at gunpoint--but it had been nice having Josh around. No one else had the time or sanity for Neku's pity parties. Joshua, though, didn't seem to mind staying up late with him, playing his dumb mindless rhythm games, watching garbage anime, or just ... talking. The way they were right now.

They didn't talk about why Neku had been such a recluse the past few weeks, mind you. And Neku appreciated it. He needed a distraction, and Joshua was the definition of one. From his motor mouth to--how unfairly gorgeous he looked all the time.

Joshua looked especially perfect with the white light from the television screen illuminating his profile. They had long lost interest in finding a film or show to put on. They would rather chat and just look at each other while sitting on his couch.

Neku had felt a pit in his stomach all day. They were plenty close to each other, but he was itching to be closer. He found himself reaching out, and his fortitude crumbled as he brushed a curl out of Joshua's face. ]

"... I'm sorry. That you had to go through all of that."

Threaded | Flat

[Joshua has so much fucking feelings going on right now. For one, he's salty as hell. He's kind of figured out what happened between Beat and Neku, at least to a degree. Part of their agreement was that Josh stop snooping to an extend in his life, so that he just doesn't know everything all the time.

But Beat had had Neku before him, and it burns him up. It's so hard to watch someone he wanted so badly but couldn't actually touch go through this shit, when he thinks about him so much. It drives him absolutely up the wall, because he just can't get the other out of his head. Even when he's not around him, all he thinks about is Neku. It's only getting worse the more they hang out -- he's both satiated and frustrated the more he hangs out with him. The way that Neku's finally actually kind of accepted his presence is satisfying in a way, but that just means he wants more.

He hadn't been satisfied with anyone else in a long time. Joshua doesn't understand it, but he figures it must be the more human part of him trying to feel things he hadn't had the chance to before.

Joshua had figured out that Neku responded to little tidbits like this. He gave Joshua a little more attention, and even though he loathed pity, the fact that Neku was so close to him and moved his curl like that drove him crazy.

If only Neku knew what was going on in his mind...

For a brief moment, Joshua's mind short circuits at Neku's hand brushing his hair away. His body subconsciously scoots just a bit closer, because he wants more of that affection so badly.

Neku's going to be the end of him, he knows it.

But his mind catches back up with him, even if he's still not sure how to react to it. The fact that someone feels sorry for him...]

Is that concern I hear for me, Neku? How cute.

[Can he not put his foot in his mouth for five minutes, maybe.]

It was a long time ago...and you asked, so I answered.